The TI-89 Titanium! Ph34r

On talking about my fearless math teacher, Mr. Thayer (yeah, what a Nazi name!), the great cherubly one Zoogies arose out of his witty little blog to respond to my inquiries, and in the end has challenged me to a duel! What duel is it, you ask? You’re about to find out (don’t read if you don’t like totally ridiculous, useless conversations).

Here is our blog-to-blog comment conversation of d00m!

Zoogies: N00b. “Use calculus to solve this problem” is standard. As opposed to “use arithmetic” or “derive using algebra” or “use that newfangled Ti-89 of yours.”

Me: This makes it sound like “calculus” is a weapon or something, and don’t be dissing my sexy TI-89 Titanium… it’s my weapon of mass destruction. >:D

If this is standard, when do I go around telling you to “Use rhetoric to dissuade Saddam from nuking his citizens?”

Zoogies: Oh yeah? Let’s have my sexier Ti-83+ (it’s translucent and silver) duel your Titanium to the death. Or better yet, Master Banana (Ti-30XIIS) will rise out of his grave and show your Ti-89 who’s boss with its uber quick use of the LOG key, which your Ti-89 doesn’t have! Ha!

Well, “use calculus to solve this problem” IS standard, because calculus is just a few concepts and methods, the rest of it is algebra. And never underestimate the power of rhetoric, my friend. Using big words can get you a long way. Why, if I made a speech in December of 2002 that was a concerted, florificated attack on Saddam’s policies, and ended by growling, “YOUR TACTICS AND YOU YOURSELF SHOULD BE FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATED BY ALL,” he would have tremblingly laid down arms and surrendered himself to his own Guard!

Me: O_O

Heck no, when it comes to using big words, people won’t listen to you because they have no clue what the fizz you would be saying. In converse, Saddam would’ve just went “I dunno wtf he’s saying, Imma ignore him.”

>:D

And no! My TI-89 Titanium has a titanium cover, has 3D and differential graphs in its arsenal, and — ZOMG!!! — It has curved buttons! The moment I press the “on” button, it’s Hiroshima and Nagasaki all over for you again!

Zoogies: YEAH!? WELL, one day I may get a Ti-89, but you know what? NOT UNTIL THEY ARE SEE THROUGH AND SILVER!

Me: YEAH!? That’s fine with me, because nobody does transparent calculators with silver coloring anymore! Who does that!?

In the end, I accept your duel, prepare to be demolished by my TI-89 so fast, your TI-83’s “on” button will refuse to work!

And from a tragic story point of view:

A TI-83 — now transparent!

Will Alan’s TI-89 Titanium calculator be able to best Zoogies’ TI-83 SILVER EDITION (with — ZOMG!!! Transparency!!)? Will the world’s fate be put at hand? What will happen if Zoogies wins this epic clash of the titans???!!??

I don’t know, I didn’t produce this scenario.