Boy, do I have a story to tell! Actually, I don’t really have a story to tell, none that would rival that of Nathaniel Hawthorne or the sentimental J.K. “Growling” anyway, but if you are in need of a uber leet zomgwtfzorz random and pointless story, I have one for you. 
So the great math god John Thayer of 3rd period announced something this morning along the lines of “Yo foos, I got a problem for joo today, it’s a ‘Group Problem’ that joo must pair up with a p4rtn3r in order to complete, and must be done in precisely 53 minutes and 17 seconds!” And I was like O_O.
The problem, if you’re so wondering, is one of those hateful Calculus problems that just makes you want to rip Isaac Newton out of his pants or something. The problem was somewhere along the lines of this:
Two functions of f are given, find the absolute maximums and minimums rounded to two decimal places, then use Calculus to find the exact values…
“Use Calculus?” LMAO WTF!!! …. W-w-who says that? What kind of ‘roids is my teacher taking? Who the hell says “Aight, we gonna USE CALCULUS to solve this problem!” This one cracked me up, as it was such a general, vague statement… something you’d hear Bush say on TV, something like “Aight, we gonna use WAR to suppress and liberate Iraq.”
PS: I also got many comments from friends, families, and enemies that they get the idea that this site is a blog, and while to some certain, unspeakable extent it is, it actually isn’t! Mind you, I like to call it.. uh… wtf, what’s that one word again… oh yeah! — A website! And nobody’s asking you to read what I have to write about, so as long as you acknowledge it’s my personal website, we’re goOD. Yeah, that’s right — bet you didn’t see that one coming… that’s like a headshot in CS right there. 
Tags
This entry was written up around 3 years, 1 month ago.
You can say something, or trackback from your own site, because you know everyone does that everyday.
If you're a frequent reader of this journal, please feel free to register and join in. If you're just stopping by, do it anyway.
Posted August 14, 2008
N00b. “Use calculus to solve this problem” is standard. As opposed to “use arithmetic” or “derive using algebra” or “use that newfangled Ti-89 of yours.”
Oh yeah? Let’s have my sexier Ti-83+ (it’s translucent and silver) duel your Titanium to the death. Or better yet, Master Banana (Ti-30XIIS) will rise out of his grave and show your Ti-89 who’s boss with its uber quick use of the LOG key, which your Ti-89 doesn’t have! Ha!
Well, “use calculus to solve this problem” IS standard, because calculus is just a few concepts and methods, the rest of it is algebra. And never underestimate the power of rhetoric, my friend. Using big words can get you a long way. Why, if I made a speech in December of 2002 that was a concerted, florificated attack on Saddam’s policies, and ended by growling, “YOUR TACTICS AND YOU YOURSELF SHOULD BE FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATED BY ALL,” he would have tremblingly laid down arms and surrendered himself to his own Guard!
And Calculus is a weapon. A very powerful weapon.
YEAH!? WELL, one day I may get a Ti-89, but you know what? NOT UNTIL THEY ARE SEE THROUGH AND SILVER!